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Saturday, March 19th, 2011
12:47 am - Past...
It's nice having someone call you to say I miss you. It's nice to receive a hug from someone you cherish more than life itself. I can still remember how I used to date my one and only pinay. You could say she was one of the most beautiful girl I ever been with. I think it's was more of a platonic relationship. We held hands once, maybe a hug or two. Distance was a factor and I was pretty young myself. Didn't have a car at the time. She was quite a dime though. We used to talk every night. Me bringing that old dial by hand phone where you gotta rotate that ringer thingy.... She was cool, told me once she would call me while she was hanging out with her cousins at the race track. We had a nice little chat while a bunch of people was waiting to use the phone booth. I'm glad I met her, even though it was only for a few months. She was a good friend, someone whom I wouldn't mind seeing again just to know how's she doing. I had no regrets that we broke up nor any sadness that I may never hear or see her again. It's just a part of my past I keep because it's cool. So how did we met... Let me see, I was at the theater @ fashion valley. I happen to catch her eye and that was pretty much it. Didn't really pursue, until I found out we were watching the same movie. Came up and introduced myself, got her number and we started talking. The funny thing is that we broke up because I was too young for her. 2 years? I was 16 while she was 18. I should be sleeping... Supposedly... I'm glad I have a place to write my feelings, my thoughts and life. Can't remember when my first was... Probably in high school? During my freshman year. Now I'm 27, engaged to a very beautiful girl... I'm a very lucky man. She takes great care of me. I couldn't ask for anything else other than her love... I wish I could give her everything she ever wanted... I hope she knows... I'm trying... Missing you. It's 12:46am and *Snores*

current mood: recumbent

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Monday, March 14th, 2011
3:22 am - Growing Older
Sometimes I wonder if growing older is like venturing through stepping stones of life. Different path a person may chooses while other paths are unintentionally crossed... I wonder if I'm currently happy, then again I'm wondering if I'm currently depressed. I'm currently engaged to someone who has been with me through thick and thin via these past 9 years... You can say I'm the luckiest man in the world to have such an angel to grace his present... But why am I not sleeping dreaming of the next time we meet... The next time we kiss... Maybe it's the anxiety... Maybe it's the stupidity that I'm over thinking everything and not grab life by the hands and continue on. It feels like I'm currently standing here on this cold stepping stone as life floats by... Good Night...

"Time shouldn't be an excuse for anything, when it's uncertain if you have any to spare..." -TrUb0i

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Tuesday, March 8th, 2011
12:46 pm - Taking a shortcut
Many people deal with stress, anxiety, sadness and so on with different techniques. As for me I went back to my old habit... *Smoking* Now my head hurts due to nicotine madness... win! Oh I'm so going to regret smoking when I hit the courts for basketball... Lame. O well, it's not like I smoke every day....

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Tuesday, January 25th, 2011
4:58 pm - Crappy Month
I admit, I haven't been back to this journal for a long time. I'm surprised I'm able to remember the password. Sadly I normally return when something happens in my life. I fell victim to online gaming with a nasty streak of buying an abundance of things from the cash shops... I spent a total of $1,300... on a virtual game. I knew chances are high I won't be able to see my money. But I tried selling my account.. which turned tragic. I was scammed by two guys and lost everything... It's pretty bad... In the end you can't do anything what is done is done... I admit i tried looking for the person, but You can only do so much in life... My mom is always right about my situation. Last year i lost about 300 dollars fixing a stupid accident on my "Brand" new car.. This year i lose $1,300 being scammed. O well. Time to move on.

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Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
1:08 am - A new start.
I'm starting my new job in Irvine pretty soon. A whole new office setting and a great deal of more responsibilities. Honestly if my old company didn't screw me over twice I wouldn't look for another job. But I guess they didn't know that I found out that sudden raise was to keep me around. In the end my co-worker had a higher initial offer and only took him four months to get hired. I had to work my ass off for about 8 months to be even considered a position. I guess its for the best for me to leave. I never really saw myself being long term there, the whole systems administration staff is being over worked and the pay wasn't so well for to lower end guys. It might be a rough start but no pain no gain.
I can't seem to fall asleep tonight... maybe just maybe I can't bare to close my eyes just yet to drift upon that endless realm of dreams...

Just a Glance...

It's funny how some songs don't sound too catchy when you first hear it. It take about a few reruns for you to actually like it. Especially when you make sure the english subs are there for you to understand the verse. Burp.

current mood: contemplative

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Wednesday, July 29th, 2009
12:02 am - NT
Many of one Day.

Do you still remember that one day,
as it slowly stray far far away.
Do you still remember that one day,
the one that you said won't fade

I've seen many of that one day,
still I can't seem to have it stay...

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Wednesday, April 29th, 2009
12:25 am - Change
I feel very sleepy right now, but I felt that I need to write something down before I fall asleep. Many times in my postings in the past I would bitch about how unfair life is. Now I'm going to do it again. There are too many what ifs in my life at this moment... what if i took that job in Vista? What if I never broke up with my ex for no reason? What if I never gave up my life of fun and games who only care what happens tomorrow.... I sleep now... G'nite... Oh one more thing, I need to stop being so nice... I need more money... So much stressss... sigh..

current mood: mischievous

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Sunday, April 12th, 2009
9:37 pm - Growing Older...
It's true that you only get to experience life once and I strongly feel that it's unfair because there are times when you need a second chance. Sometimes I wish I could be that guy everyone would admire and look up upon. That guy with the sweetest voice the world ever heard or even the brightest smile to lighten up anyone's day. All I can do is wish and pray that tomorrow will be a better day. Hoping that I don't need a second chance for anything I do. I really envy those who has it all, those who's living out their dreams due to their natural talents and god given looks. Who's charismatic ways are sparked by their inner beauty. Sadly it seems that I still have some regrets in my lifetime, if only I could take back those words I said and those works I couldn't say... Time goes by too fast for me to understand why I'm on the road I'm on. But the funny thing is if I did have that second chance I would not go back and change a thing... Maybe I'm weird that way or plain stupid... Who wouldn't go back in time with the knowledge and wisdom they have obtained... good night...

current mood: hopeful

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Monday, January 5th, 2009
10:43 pm - Trust Issues...
I have had a lot of rocky relationships in the past. Broken relationships due to lack of communications and broken promises. I've had my heart torn apart many times, but I kept gluing it back together. I'm currently in love with a girl that has been in my life these past 7 years. There's nothing I wouldn't do to make her happy and to see her pretty face each time. But due to a little miss communication I'm sitting here wondering why my heart hurts. I believe I have trust issues because I don't want my heart to be broken again. It's quite painful piecing a broken heart together, it's like a jig-saw puzzle where the pieces don't fit quite the same. Of course I still love her very much. I just need some time to myself... Dream sweet.

I haven't wrote a poem in awhile, hopefully I'm not rusty.

Crazy Me...

I guess it would be wrong to miss you too much
Might even call it crazy to miss your soft touch
I guess it's weird saying those three special words so often
Cuz in my heart I have always knew you're the one

Crazy me for being so in love with you
Wishing constantly that you feel the same way too....

current mood: sad

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Friday, December 26th, 2008
12:14 am - Belated...
It's weird how life creates opportunities but takes away others... It's almost the end of 2008 and a new year is coming along. 2008 can be remembered as the year that I first stepped into the real world. I pray that I'll find a full time job soon... I'm hoping to make enough money to help pay the bills around here and my car bills >< You can say I may have dug a little hole for myself buying a brand new car that is 100000x over my budget but I love the car so much!! O well. It's already been 7 years I've been with my significant other. I love her to death and would do pretty much anything to see her smile. She has a very cute smile, but when she tries too hard it looks pretty scary. I'm awfully surprised I still remember the login to this journal, it's been when? A long time ago? It's pretty nostalgic reading over the post I've created in the past. Sadly I'm not getting any younger and yet I'm still struggling to find a way to become successful. Oh, I should be sleeping, Christmas was aite...

- TrUb0i

current mood: nostalgic

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Sunday, October 14th, 2007
1:46 am - Turning 24...
OMG I"M JUST TURNED 24!!  O NOS!!!

Long time no write...

Journal Iznt Dead!

- TrUb0i

current mood: thankful

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Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
2:13 am - What past?
My head is bobbing in and out of reality. There seem to be a thin line between living in the present and in the past. Sometimes, I could close my eyes and I could see myself gasping tightly to a past I have long forgotten. Only to return to reality knowing that I'm growing older. I don't want to dwell so much about my past, but sometimes late at night, my head would wander. It's time for bed...

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Wednesday, September 27th, 2006
12:26 am - Shinobi Heart Under Blade.
I'm pretty amazed at what a person's creativity and imaginative mind can stir up. I mean this movie was great and yes this is my personal opinion so bear with me here. *SPOOOOILLEERRRR ALLEERRT* So Gennosuke is in love with Oboro. That pretty much sums up the story. Love can either bring you bliss or grief. Maybe both and maybe just grief lol. Gennosuke as powerful as he was ended up dying from a simple stabbed to the heart by his lover Oboro. But there is a twist to the story. Their villages were on the brink of destruction when Oboro plea to the high lord for peace. She had to poke her eyes out in order to convince the high lord that the shinobi wants to be left alone. So sad/happy ending... I still don't understand why Gennosuke had to die... wtf? O.o ohhh well that's life for ya. Soooooooooooooooooooo, yeah i sorta left out the parts about the fighting, killing, limps breaking off, dude who doesn't die and a hot female whom is very venomous *litterally* LoL. Sleep tight nowz, because I won't due to the O.o of homework OMFG KEKE.


- Justinian (Maybe I'll switch my alias to Gennosuke)

current mood: productive

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Thursday, September 21st, 2006
2:14 am - Over and over...
I've been listening to the same song over and over. I really don't know why I keep doing it. Maybe it's because the song reminds me so much of many things in my life. The relationship I'm in currently is very special and i cherish it as much as possible. Sometimes it's all I think about, before I go to bed and when I wake up. Good Night.


- Tommy


My Babe I love you so...much forever you and I.

current mood: thankful

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Wednesday, September 20th, 2006
1:45 am - Sunset....
Yawning as I slowly keys in the words that is suppose to represent my emotions and thoughts within a text palete. It's that time again when half the people in the world is asleep as some are up living their life. It's amazing how some people never get to see the sunrise or sunset because their so busy. We should all stop and smell the roses once in awhile and maybe appreciate what we have in our life. Freestyle - Y has been what I've been listening all day long...


*My babe, I love you so much,
*Forever you and I.
*I love you, oh i love you so much,
*Forever you and I.

Dedicated To my LiL BBH

current mood: contemplative

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Monday, September 18th, 2006
12:36 am - .......
Not every day I could wake up with a smile on my face and it's not every night that I cry myself to sleep. I really don't know where to venture nor where to search for the answers to my questions. If only life was so simple... if only life was so forgiving because my heart aches everytime I see her smile fade away from her beautiful face. If I could freeze time and If I could be there everytime her face glows with her sweet smile my life wouldn't be so bad. It's true that I once promise myself to never fall in love again, but how can you ignore such a lovely present when ever she's near... how can you ignore her soft voice when ever she calls you closer... Only if i knew how to cherish her more truly... she wouldn't ever cry. The moon is out once again yet I do not see a single star....

- truboi


"There was once a flower, by itself stood against the wind and rain. The sun hasn't been seen lately, but this flower knows one day it'll bloom... then disappear along the gale of the winds just as the others..."

current mood: Reminiscent

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Sunday, September 10th, 2006
12:51 am - Good Morning...
Reminisce...

Those days are gone forevermore
Those nights I year to adore...
How should I walk on this path of life
Straight or narrow, or just very light...

I never would have thought I would come back here... This place of solitude. I know of great many whom have post daily through out their life, each morning, afternoon or before they close their eyes to sleep. Each word and even letters settling upon the screen to record their memories. To be shared with others or just for a personal record. As for me, I would come back randomly just to see how my life have evolved... I've aged... I've cried... I've smiled and I've learned... that life will not sit still for you. Even if you close your eyes and wish your heart out... because every tear drops will only slow you down. I'm still with the same girl for a while now, and of course I'm very proud of her. She is very strong in every way, sometimes too strong *smirk*. But I love her dearly, through thick and thin. If only she would only know... how much I love her, how much I want to fill her daily life with joy and happiness. I can hear the moon yawning... must be time for sleep.

- truboi

* Not every path will lead to a correct answer, but the risk is worth it...

current mood: sympathetic

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Saturday, October 30th, 2004
9:00 pm - Life?
Many people may not realize that life is like a circle that actually has an end. Many things we do in the past actually spins off on to another direction that will affect everyone around them. This ring of incidents will slowly evolve their present and then toward the future they will reminisce about their past. Why do we continue living life when we know one day we will pass away? Why do we insist that life is worth living when all our memories is the source of our pain?...I'm at work right now and halloween is coming tomorrow. I miss those days just walking aimlessly down neighborhoods, saying trick or treat... maybe one day i'll be able to walk down those same paths i once took. Memories... Happy Halloween Everyone, be safe...

- TrUboi

Quote of the Moment
" We don't exactly get lost, we're just exploring "

current mood: artistic

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Wednesday, October 27th, 2004
10:34 pm - Over and Over again...
Have you ever been in a situation where you feel hopeless no matter what you try to do? Have you ever try to understand something that is so far beyond your grip that you know you can't get there on your own? Maybe its just my nature to slack off and then try to do things toward the last minute... Maybe its just that i want to ruin my life because boredom is within my blood and that i can't concentrate enough... or maybe i have ADD? Yeah, my life is getting worst and worst... but i'm glad i have my girlfriend there for me... She knows that i'm not doing so well and she accepts me for who i am. People often wonder why i have low self esteem about myself and why my confident isn't there to show me through. Why is time so harsh, why is life so cruel, why am i sitting here blaming myself for every mistake i have done? So many questions i have, so little time to answer them. As i look out through my own window i see people walking the streets... These people once had a family, they once had a mom that cared for them... but sometime broke that happiness... maybe they did it to themselves but no one deserve to sleep in the cold rain... no one deserve to starve to death... no one deserve to sleep in the garbage can. You can say my worst fear is being a begger... but maybe i'm already a begger... begging for helping, begging for attention... I still can't believe that someone so special and beautiful is in my life. She never hesitated to support me when im' a brokeass. In return all i do is break her heart... cause her pain... cause her tears to fall when she should be smiling. Deep within my heart i want to see her smile, i want to see laugh, i want to be the one to buy everything for her even the world. I want her to live a life of a queen. She deserves the best in this world. Only if she knew how much it hurts me to know that maybe i don't have a future... maybe i won't be able to get through college... i dont want her to support me for the rest of my life... but i have this feeling that i can pull through...i can...i will...

- Justinian S.

T.T.

current mood: gloomy

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Sunday, August 29th, 2004
9:39 pm - Not Today
Only if dreams could become reality... everyone will be so much happier. Sometimes i would ask myself where will i be tomorrow? The only way i'll find out is by waking up tomorrow and face another day.. What i fear the most is that one day i'll forget to ask myself that question... and not wake up at all because life has been so untrustful that I don't want to look forward to tomorrow.

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